The Beast Is Out of the Barn

Even though I wasn't going to leave until next Tuesday, I was persuaded to bring the Beast to Tsawwassen so we could spend the night close to where Festival Polynesia is being held.  It sure beats having to drive home for an hour at midnight after a long day.  Naturally, there was no space available on the weekend, so I took Monday off and brought the Beast through downtown Langley in a monsoon.   I also discovered why the economy is so lousy..... because nobody works!  Apparently, most of the population of Langley spends its time driving up and down Glover Road.  Trust me on this.

 It was raining so hard when I got to Tsawwassen that I couldn't even get stuff out of the car.  By the time I was done setting up, I was drenched.  I don't even get that wet when I'm swimming!

 Anyhow, the Beast is set up in the Dog Park (why do rednecks always feel the need to buy loud, barky dogs…. Is it a manhood thing?).  I swear it looked like a movie set at times - the people across from me had the requisitional vicious drooly hound, they had a succession of old beat up cars in their driveway, they smoked like chimneys and swore like sailors.  I was looking for the camera crew.

 Anyhow, it looks like the Beast made it through winter okay.  There was some water leakage but I think we have that fixed.  There are also a few ants in the RV but the ant apocalypse will not take me too long.  I'm looking forward to taking off on the first leg of the Big Beastly Adventure next week.

Woohoooooo!

Beast, Brakes and Bank Account

All I can say is....thank heavens I decided to work a bit longer for some pocket money.  The Beast's new tires cost me nearly $3,000!  The good news is that I won't need a brake job - my mechanic friend says that they're at 70%, which should see me down a couple of mountain passes.

The doghouse, which had a tendency to go flying whenever there was a breeze, is now clamped down tightly.  It's a wondrous thing to be flying along at a heart-racing 35 mph and have this huge chunk of your vehicle come flying up, leaving nothing behind but boiling hot engine heat and an unobstructed view of the pavement directly under your feet.  It's especially invigorating when this happens as you are trying to control your vehicle down narrow, winding roads on one of those "scenic" highways on a long weekend in September!  (Note to self:  scenic is the latin word for "don't drive your RV down that road).

I still don't have a working TV, my roof leaked during the winter (we think we know the reason) and I've got a few ants in the kitchen area (which I'll deal with this summer - stay tuned for Ant Apocalypse 2013).

Otherwise, I'm good to go..... only 15 days left!

So much to do....so little time.... so little credit

I'm all for procrastination.  In fact, I would give seminars on the subject except for the fact that I would never get around to doing powerpoint slides.  So, I've been sitting around all winter, planning what I have to do to the Beast to get it road ready.  All of this involves money.... lots of it.

So, all the neurons were flashing, the synapses were sparking and my body was all set to leap into action this coming weekend.  Then I got a call from Visa telling me that some loser a$$hole had stolen my visa card number and was using it to supplement his pathetic life with even more pathetic video games.  Naturally, I cancelled the card and now I have to wait 10 days for a new one, which is going to put the Beast's beautification schedule on a very tight timeline. 

I could pay cash, of course, but then I wouldn't get aeroplan points...which are also very necessary.

Blast off day is June 4th....with or without brakes.  Sigh.....

Living vicariously at 36,000 feet

Or as my brother would say 857,392,714 cm.

Ah, economy class.... where you get jammed in tighter than sardines and you spend 5 hours desperately hoping that someone, somewhere, will offer you a glass of tepid tap water.  Unless, of course, you're sitting with my friend Paul.  Because Paul knows everyone - and everyone knows him.  For example - the head flight attendant on our flight.  The minute Paul was spotted, we were inundated with free drinks, free meals, free chocolate, free earphones.  I was afraid of napping in case I got buried under a mountain of "onboard cafe" items!  Needless to say, we arrived in Hawaii well fed, well hydrated and the envy of all economy (and most first class) passengers.

In full training mode
 

The weather in Waikiki has been glorious and the training for the Tour D'Ont is going very well.  I can sit quite comfortably on the beach for up to 8 hours at a stretch, with nary a cabana boy in sight.  Prince Porketta will be very proud of me I'm sure.

The time to start training is now!

Well the training for the "Tour D"Ontario" later this summer has started. We left Sudbury and had a pleasant trip all the way to Georgia where tire troubles started to test my resolve. I think it's important to mention that i didn't have a drink the whole way... not a sip, not a sniff, not even a whiff of anything stronger than Pepsi. I call this part of the training "moral fortitude training" I finished it and now to the real training. The fist thing i have to do today is buy tires. We got as flat in Georgia and the guy at C & D Tires plugged it for the measly sum of $5.00. We knew it was going to be just luck that it held but away we went. The patch lasted to ALMOST our destination. We made it to 25 miles from our destination and the tire blew. this is a neat experience when you are travelling at 130 k/hr or as my American friends (and Canadian sister) would say 85 mph. The van started to wiggle and growl and i was able to get it to the side of the road without incident. I immediately pulled out my trusty CAA card and phone but before the call was completed a service truck from the Road Rangers pulled up and changed the tire and had us on our way in less than half an hour..all for no charge! Now I have to try and find a snow tire in southern Florida. Something tells me I am going back with 4 nrew tires and 3 snows tied to the roof, Between the tires on the roof and the scooter in the back we kind of look like the Griswolds on Vacation haha So now starts 14 days of sitting. I officially started last night with a cold beer and a light meal The lobster was delicious.... Now we are off to do some tire buying, beer purchasing and food acquiring all in preparation for some beach sitting. How is Nui doing with her training in Hawaii?

Taking Advice from the Prince

The Prince is a very wise man and knows the value of planning ahead.  Inspired by his dedication, I too will be embarking on some Spring Training.  I'm off to the wilds of Hawaii, to practice long-term sitting, concentrated sun-soaking and indulging in the extreme sport of poi (not pie) eating.  As the Prince says, "You can't be too careful when you're planning a tour as rigorous as the Tour D'Ont".  With this much training under our belts, we'll both be in fine shape to take on the adventure in June.

The Beastly Beard

It just occurred to me.... the Prince's luxuriant facial growth had its origins during the first Big Beastly Adventure.  Prince fully expected to have to shave once "Spare Rib" (the Prince's wife) got a look at it but she seemed to grow rather fond of it.  We didn't ask why.

So the question is....what will the Prince do as a follow up?  Enquiring minds want to know.