There IS a Turtle Mafia...I've got proof!
Many people think me paranoid because I’m convinced that there is a conspiracy afoot, led by the turtle I accidentally smacked into several years ago when I was out for a swim. Immediately after that, I noticed that turtles started popping up wherever I was – just staring at me. Coincidence, I thought. Then I moved to a different section of the park, on a completely new lake, and within 10 minutes there was a giant snapping turtle heading towards me. No one else ever had close encounters of the aquatic reptilian kind; but it got to the point that people on the beach would start looking for a turtle whenever I went into the water.
I even had a fortune teller tell me that there were a lot of turtles that seemed to surround me…..little did she know.
I have been here for two weeks so far and was very surprised that I hadn’t seen a turtle yet. To be honest, it’s probably because I haven’t been swimming that much. I thought that TurtAl Capone – the capo di tutti of the turtle mafia – had decided to end his vendetta against me. I was wrong. On Sunday I was sitting on the beach and a very tiny turtle popped out of the water, slunk around a canoe, peered over at me and high-tailed it for the reeds. Blissfully ignorant of what was to come, I swam across the lake but I had an eerie feeling that I was not alone. When I made it back to the beach, I put my foot down to make sure I was in shallow water, and stepped on the biggest turtle this lake has ever produced. That’s right…. TurtAl Capone was directly under me and probably had been the whole time! That little runt of a turtle was probably one of his enforcers, come to check on my whereabouts and report back to the godturtle.