Chairs, Stairs and Bears

Well, it was bound to happen..... I was sitting by the fire, minding my own business, when I heard a twig snap in the bush behind me.  I turned around and found a bear sniffing around under my awning.  The good news is that there was a picnic table between me and the bear.  The bad news is that I had to run towards him if I wanted to get into the RV.  I started banging on the table and on a cast iron frying pan that we had used to cook dinner and yelling at him at the top of my lungs.  My sister was inside the RV and opened the door, and I got up those stairs in record time.  Maybe I should consider attaching a small grizzly to the back of a stair climber, as motivation for exercise.

Anyhow, that same night, the weather man finally got it right and we had rain for the second time this summer.  Naturally, I wasn't about to go out and retrieve the stuff that I'd left out there in my race to the stairs.  So, that is how all the chairs, the kindling and the thermacell got wet.  Sigh.....stupid bears.

How To Get Rid of Raccoons

Easy!  Get a bear or, in our case, several bears.

In 48 years of camping at Grundy, I've seen one bear but dozens of raccoons.  So far this year, I've seen 4 bears, heard 3 others but I've only seen one raccoon.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.

Waiting for dinner

 The bears are getting pretty aggressive because there are very few berries this year.  They've been wandering around the campgrounds all summer.  So far, the rangers have trapped 12 of them but they just keep on coming.  They appeared on the lot right next to me (the one I used to be on).  The one big male went under the campers' awning and munched on some citronella candles while the people were sitting around their campfire only about 15 feet away. Needless to say, the campers were guilty of making some "excessive noise" that night.  The next night, a younger bear came trotting through the same campsite and the guy had to throw a chair at it.  A few days before, a bear tore the back window off a truck cab to get at some dog food.  I'm beginning to wonder if I should get the box full of zucchini out of my car.

We've already had some

Speaking of zucchini.... you have to watch what you say around here.  We had friends over the other night and they mentioned that their garden was producing very well.  They asked if we'd like some zucchini and we said sure.  The next day, we found a box full of zucchini, cucumbers and peppers on our picnic table.  Looks like I'll be turning vegetarian now.  Anyone got a good recipe for zucchini bread?

Vole-au-Vent and Chips

Where's a camera when you need it?  Tessa the cat loves being at Grundy because her inner huntress can be given free rein.  And speaking of reins, we have her tethered to a 20 foot leash because otherwise we'd never catch her.  She's pretty good about following the rules, though:  we tell her she can't go out without her bra on, so she obediently turns away from the door and patiently waits while we put her harness on her.

We've discovered that the animals at Grundy are not the brightest.  On our first day, Tessa encountered a bunch of grackles and stood calmly by while they stole all her food.  But she's made up for it since then.  Her favorite thing to hunt are chipmunks.  Thank heavens that she's a "catch and release" type of hunter.  She caught the first one by the belly but let it go immediately.  The second one had a bit more undignified fate.

She caught the poor thing by the butt and had it dangling from her mouth for several minutes.  Every time she lowered her head, the poor chippie tried to walk away.  It looked like they were playing a game of "wheelbarrow".  She finally let it go, but then promptly sat on it.  All we could see was this poor little chipper's head poking out from under Tessa.

The weird thing is that, when they were finally released, both chipmunks walked away in slow motion.  You would think that they would high tail it out of there.  That one poor guy probably still can't sit down.  Strangely enough, there have been no other chipmunks on our lot in recent days.  Guess the chippie herd got the memo.

Tessa, undeterred, has now turned her attention to the many voles that live in the bush.  They don't seem to notice her and will carry on doing vole-like things right under her nose.  It's only a matter of time before something bites them in the ass.

Homeless People and Missionaries

Well, summer at Grundy has been fabulous and a little hectic.  By hectic, I mean kind of insane.  Both of my sisters are now officially homeless – they sold their houses and plan to move into their gorgeous new RV.  Plan is the operative word.  This is the RV that was badly damaged back in Texas in December.  Finally, after seven months of waiting, they got word that it was ready, so off they went to Texas to pick it up.  The weather there was a balmy 105 degrees so they didn’t linger.  They made the round trip in just over 10 days!  When they got back to Grundy, they learned that the repair people in Mission (Missionaries?) needed a bit more specific directions when completing their work, e.g.  Put the sink in AND hook it up AND put a washer in there.  Then put the toilet in AND hook up the pipes AND maybe don’t fill the pipes with grout.  Put the banquette seats in AND bolt them down so people don’t flip off them when they sit.  And when you put the carpet in, cut off the extra stuff; don’t just tuck it back in and tack in down so there’s a big lump when you go into the bedroom.   You get the idea…..   So, after only a few days, they sent the rig off for repairs to Sudbury and moved in with me.  They’ve been waiting 2 weeks for an estimate that was supposed to be done in 3 days.  This is not looking promising.  

Meanwhile, our cars our loaded with stuff, my RV is wall to wall clothes and stuff but we’re having fun playing Dominoes, Super Tock and watching Coronation Street.  

The weather has cooperated and we’ve had very little rain, which is a nice change from the past two years.  And the weather is nothing….not hot, not cold, not windy, not still….just nothing.   We’re kinda hoping for something soon.  Just to be clear….something good.

Attacked by TurtAl Capone!

There IS a Turtle Mafia...I've got proof!

Many people think me paranoid because I’m convinced that there is a conspiracy afoot, led by the turtle I accidentally smacked into several years ago when I was out for a swim.  Immediately after that, I noticed that turtles started popping up wherever I was – just staring at me.  Coincidence, I thought.  Then I moved to a different section of the park, on a completely new lake, and within 10 minutes there was a giant snapping turtle heading towards me.  No one else ever had close encounters of the aquatic reptilian kind; but it got to the point that people on the beach would start looking for a turtle whenever I went into the water.

I even had a fortune teller tell me that there were a lot of turtles that seemed to surround me…..little did she know.

I have been here for two weeks so far and was very surprised that I hadn’t seen a turtle yet.  To be honest, it’s probably because I haven’t been swimming that much.  I thought that TurtAl Capone – the capo di tutti of the turtle mafia – had decided to end his vendetta against me.   I was wrong.  On Sunday I was sitting on the beach and a very tiny turtle popped out of the water, slunk around a canoe, peered over at me and high-tailed it for the reeds.   Blissfully ignorant of what was to come, I swam across the lake but I had an eerie feeling that I was not alone.  When I made it back to the beach, I put my foot down to make sure I was in shallow water, and stepped on the biggest turtle this lake has ever produced.  That’s right…. TurtAl Capone was directly under me and probably had been the whole time!  That little runt of a turtle was probably one of his enforcers, come to check on my whereabouts and report back to the godturtle.

Maybe smacking a turtle is a type of foreplay and he thinks we’re engaged.  Or perhaps it’s the worst insult you can do to a turtle.  Either way, I’m doomed.

Poplar Bluff....

Because of thunderstorm and high wind warnings, we decided to head north to the town of Poplar Bluff, Missouri and booked a site for 2 nights at the one and only RV park in the area.  Upon arrival, we were greeted by a very unkempt man in a dirty undershirt who told us to follow him to our site.  Now, this may be the local hot spot for camping in summer, but in April there were exactly 3 other campers there.  So where did Billy-Bob take us?  To a lot which left the RV at an upward tilt and the car at a 45 degree angle in back.  I could hear the poor tow bars groaning in protest.  He then proceeded to give us an in depth lecture on how to plug into the electrical box and turn on the water.  Maybe these were new-fangled modern improvements for him and he wanted to make sure we furriners knew how to use them.  We gave him all our attention.

Naturally we told him we wanted a different lot and asked if we could just move to the next one over, which was level.  This threw the poor man into such confusion that he was barely able to function.  After a few minutes, he retreated to the office, to discuss the matter with higher authority.  He then informed us that we could not stay on the other lot for 2 nights, as requested, because someone else had already reserved it (why is anybody's guess).  I then asked if we could move to any other of the 100 or so empty lots in the park, and he lost it.  That required decision-making way beyond his pay grade.  So, we had to follow him back to the park office where we met the charming Lula-Mae.

Now Lula-Mae and Billy-Bob had a grand total of 6 teeth between them - all in varying shades of black, grey or green.  Lula-Mae was dumbfounded that we wanted to move.  Since the car and RV together total almost 50 feet, I suggested she let us have a lot on the flats, right next to another large RV.  She then told us that those large lots were reserved for big busloads of people who apparently descend on Poplar Bluff in droves at random intervals and without prior notice.  It remains a mystery as to why so many people feel the need to go there and sleep in buses, since we couldn't even find a restaurant within 5 miles of the place. It's almost certain they don't come for the dental work.  Anyhow.....

After checking with the park owner, she finally agreed to let us use the big pull-thru lot but she made it very clear that there would be "no more moves".  Billy-Bob then led us back there and gave us another run-down on how to plug in and turn on the water.

In the 2 days we stayed there, no other campers came in and we were not swarmed by busloads of people arriving in Poplar Bluff for an impromptu vacation of a lifetime.

Lucky for us, the weather cleared and we headed for Terry Haute, IN, where we were greeted with warm cookies and a petting zoo.  We won't be heading back to Poplar Bluff anytime soon.

Exodus

And lo, it came to pass that the great god of the tribe called Snowbirds – the allmighty US Internal Revenue Service – did decree that those wandering in the deserts of the southern US should return to their own country lest they exceed their 182 day maximum stay and incur the wrath of the tax man. And so, in March, the great northern Snowbird migration began.

We left on March 30^th, heading north to San Antonio.  Amazingly, in less than 100 miles, the drivers all stopped being psychotic, suicidal maniacs and the driving became quite pleasant.  Not a single one of them stopped suddenly and threw his car into reverse.  I guess that must be a Mission thing.

Notice the capris

Anyhow, the trip was uneventful although my teeth were on edge.  One of Tessa’s toys got stuck under a bolt near the driver’s seat and I endured 5 long hours of squeaking until we got to the Rv park.  I don’t know who makes those toys but I want those batteries.  They last forever!  We made a quick trip to Buc-ee's to gaze at their wall of candy and pick up dinner.  Yummmmm!

From there we headed to Tyler, and then Little Rock, which were non-remarkable, although we did get a good thunder storm in Arkansas.  In order to stay behind the line of storms we decided to head for Poplar Bluff, Missouri.  More on that later…