Someone needs a slap

Really....sometimes don't you wish you could slap these supercilious government pukes who have the IQ of gelato and the personality of a slug? 

Off we went to the USA today.  As usual, the line we picked at the border was the one that wasn't moving.  Every other car was speeding through on both sides but no.....little Napoleon up ahead was determined to make life miserable for everyone.

We got to the booth and he asked where we were headed.  As soon as I said Yuma, he started yelling at me that I was lying because no one goes down there in the summer.  He then started rolling his eyes and sarcastically saying "oh right, you're going to Yuma..... I really believe that you're heading for that kind of heat".  I tried to explain that the Beast is in storage but the little emperor wouldn't shut up.  It didn't help that he barely spoke English.... and I'm pretty sure he didn't understand it much either.  Maybe "Yuma" in his language means cocaine or child prostitution.  He sure acted like it was a criminal offense.  Did I mention that I had an 85-year old lady in my car....did he really think I was heading to the USA on a terrorist mission or something?  (of course, if you knew Road Rage Rita, that idea might not seem so far-fetched).

Anyhow, he sent us to the secondary inspection building where we waited for an hour while a lone agent worked and 15 others looked on.  When it was finally our turn, the guy just looked at us and said our story was reasonable and he couldn't understand why we'd been sent in.

I knew better than to say something snotty - which I think deserves a round of applause. 

But really..... don't you think there should be a competency test for border agents?  Shouldn't they a) speak at least one of the official languages of the country they purport to be from and b) shouldn't they at least be able to walk and chew gum at the same time?  I suppose it's too much to ask for a test to see if they have even a molecule of common sense.  And I guess I'd be dreaming if they could also be tested to see if they have a god complex.

Ah well - even though we were delayed by 2 hours, we still had a good day on the road.  And I'm warmed by the thought that the little puke at the guard booth has to work in the cold and the rain and the wind while I get to go to Yuma...where it gets really hot in the summer but where the winters are pure paradise.  Maybe I'll send him a postcard.